Spirit World
by Mardia
Summary: Your daughter is in perfect health...aside from the fact that she seems to be in a coma." Written from Jake's POV. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter One

Title: Spirit World

Genre: Drama/Angst

Rating: PG-13

Summary: "Your daughter is in perfect health…aside from the fact that she seems to be in a coma." Written in Jake's POV.

Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to Meg Cabot. So don't sue.

Author's note: Okay, in this story, I'm assuming that Paul, Father Dominic and Jesse have all found out that Paul's grandfather is a mediator/shifter. I'll try to update often, but I've got two other unfinished stories to work on.  
  


"Is she going to die?"

All of us looked at David, whose skin was milky-white beneath his freckles. 

The doctor didn't give us a comforting lie. "We don't know that yet."

_They said that before with Mom…_

As the doctor left, we all just stared at each other. Mom unsteadily went to a chair and sat down. _The worst thing is the silence…_

There was a long pause.

Dad looked blankly at the forms the nurse had handed him. "I should go and fill these out," he muttered hoarsely. He sat in the chair next to Mom and started filling them out.

~*~

Hours later, a different doctor showed up. 

"What's going on?" Mom asked.

The doctor sighed. "Mrs. Ackerman, I'm going to be blunt with you. We have run every test we can think of. Your daughter is in perfect health...aside from the fact that she seems to be in a coma."

"That doesn't make any sense," Dad said, confused. As we all were.

"Well, neither does her condition. We have no idea why she won't wake up. She _should_ be awake right now-but she's not."

We all just stared at him blankly. 

"I've called in a neurologist. She should be finished shortly. But as I've said, there appears to be no reason why she won't regain consciousness."

~*~

We went in to see her. 

There were about a million machines she was hooked up to. Her skin was slightly pale. 

_OhdearGodjustlike-_

Mom broke down and starts to sob. David started silently crying too. Tears were flowing freely down his face. I looked at Brad. He looked as dazed and lost as I felt.

~*~

Several hours and doctors later, we finally went home. Mom stayed behind, in case something changed.

The four of us walked in the door. "I should, uh, somebody should call her friends," Dad mumbled.

"I'll do it," I said. I'm not quite sure why I volunteered. Probably because I realized that my dad was about ready to crack. 

~*~

"Hello?" 

I took a deep breath. _In. Out._

"Is-Cee Cee Webb there?" 

"Speaking."

"It's Jake. Jake Ackerman. Suze's brother?"

A faint chuckle on the other end. "I know who you are, Jake. What's up?"

"It's-it's…" _Stop. Breathe. In. Out._ "It's Suze," you said finally.

"What's wrong? Is she all right?" Her voice was panicked. _Just like your grandparents when…_

"No. No, she's…she's not okay. She's uh…she's in..." _A coma, Jake. Just say it. Your little sister is in a coma and all you have to fucking do is **breathe**, dammit._

"She's in a coma, Cee Cee."

For a moment, all you could hear was the shuddering gasps on the other end. "You can't-no. No." 

_You're lying...I don't believe you...Mommy's just fine...she has to be..._

"Cee Cee...it's true." _No matter how much you want it not to be_. 

"What-what happened? Was there an accident?"

"No, uh...Dave went up to her room and couldn't get her up. We called 911...she's in a coma. The doctors don't know what's wrong with her and-" My voice broke.

You heard a soft sob. "It'll be okay," you told Cee Cee, giving her an empty lie.

"You don't really know that," Cee Cee whispered.

"No," you admitted. "I don't."

_TBC..._


	2. Chapter Two

Soon after our phone call, Cee Cee came over, followed by Adam and Father Dominic. As soon as she saw me, Cee Cee gave me a hug. Her face was streaked with tears. 

Brad yelled as he walked by out the door, "I'm going surfing!"

"Brad-" my dad started to say, but the door already banged after him. Dad sighed and turned to our visitors. "Thank you for coming."

"What's going on?" Adam asked. 

"I wish I knew," my dad said softly. "The doctors have no idea what's wrong..."

I happened to be looking at Father Dominic when Dad said that, and for a split second, I could have sworn that he knew something...

Then the look passed, and he just looked old and sad. 

A door banged, and David came down the stairs. His eyes were red and when he spoke, his voice was shaky. "I want to go back to the hospital." He looked around. "Where's Brad?"

"Surfing," I said shortly. "I'll go with you-"

"We all will," Cee Cee said softly.

"Can-can we bring some stuff for Suze?" David asked. 

I knew instantly what David meant. "Yeah. Of course." David went upstairs and I followed. 

~*~

I paused when we reached Suze's room. It sounds crazy, but for a second, I was expecting to open the door and find Suze there, practicing some kung fu moves for her next ass whooping. 

_No, Jake, she's in a hospital bed with a million tubes stuck in her-_

I opened the door. Everything was still the same. Somehow, it just seemed wrong that everything should still be the same. 

I walked in, feeling like I was trespassing. We went over to Suze's CD player.

"What are you doing?" Cee Cee's voice. I looked up. She and Adam were standing in the doorway. 

I picked up a CD. "We're bringing some stuff for Suze. You know, play some CD's, read her favorite book-she might be able to hear it." I looked back down at her CD collection. "I don't even know what she'd want to hear-"

"Kylie Minogue," Adam offered. "Some Janet Jackson, Coldplay...no boy bands though. Suze _hates_ boy bands."

"Who doesn't?" I asked. "Coldplay, though...she's got some decent stuff in here," I remarked. I turned to her bookcase and groaned. "_Cosmo_?" Okay...no."

Cee Cee said defensively, "She likes reading about fashion."

_The things I do as an older brother... _"Okay. _Cosmo_ it is."

~*~

All of us, minus Brad, went back to the hospital. When we walked into the room and saw Suze, Cee Cee's eyes filled with tears. Adam grabbed a chair and sat down next to the bed. He took Suze's hand, and then looked at me, as if asking for permission. I nodded. 

"Hey, Suze," he whispered, his eyes flickering over her face. She was still unmoving. He turned back to us. "Are you sure she can hear us?"

I shook my head. "No. But she might."

He nodded and turned back to her. "You have to get up, Suze," he told her. "Who else is going to keep Kelly Prescott in check? Who's gonna help Cee Cee diss my lame jokes?" Adam's voice started to break, but he kept going. "Hey, if you wake up, I'll even buy you a new pair of shoes." 

She didn't stir. Adam looked at her hopelessly. "Just wake up, Suze. All you have to do is wake up."

David and Cee Cee were tearing up by this point. So was I. I pulled out the CD player and plugged it in. Coldplay blared out of the speakers. 

**_"Where do we go?...Nobody knows...I've gotta say...I'm on my way...down..."_**

"This is one of her favorite songs," Cee Cee said quietly. 

The four of us looked at her. She didn't move.

~*~

When we got home, the phone was ringing off the hook. Brad was back. I could tell from the sound of the Beastie Boys blaring from his room upstairs. Dad didn't even flinch, though. He was too drained to deal with Brad right now. We all were.

I looked over at Mom, who looked like hell. "You need to get some sleep," I muttered hoarsely. 

She looked over at me and touched my cheek. "So do you," Mom whispered. "Don't you have classes tomorrow?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to go," I told her. "If I go, I'll just worry and-" I stopped, then started speaking again with an effort. "I don't wanna go, if you don't mind."

"Neither do I," Dave told us.

Dad nodded. "That's okay," he said. "You can stay home."

~*~

Later in my room, I stared up at the ceiling. 

_"Dad! Suze won't wake up..."_

_"911, what's the emergency-"_

_"My sister's unconscious...she won't wake up..."_

_"Is she going to die?"_

_"We don't know that yet..."_

I closed my eyes. 

That wasn't a good idea. Now I saw Suze. Suze at our parents' wedding wearing the leather jacket over her gown and smoking a cigarette...Suze playing with Max...Suze in the hospital connected to all those machines..._Mom _connected to all those machines...

I stopped that train of thought fiercely. _Stop it, _I told myself._ Suze is not Mom and nothing is going to happen to her. _

_Nothing can happen to her. You can't go through that again..._

I opened my eyes and waited to go to sleep.

It was a long time before I did.

A/N: The lyrics are from Coldplay's song _God Put A Smile On Your Face_. A great song, you should really check it out. This story is based partly on my belief that there is a lot more to ALL of Suze's stepbrothers than either she or the readers give them credit for. Thanks for all the reviews and I'm sorry it took so long to update.


	3. Chapter Three

_A/N: I am SO sorry about taking so long with this chapter. The other two stories I was writing have been put on hold (if you've read the 5th HP book, you'll see what I mean) so I think I'll have more time to finish this story. _

When I opened my eyes, I saw Neil cleaning up my room. 

"What are you doing?" I managed to croak.

He looked up over the mound of dirty laundry he was carrying. "Hey, Jake," he said calmly. "Your mom let me in. You know, there are things called a _washer _and a _dryer_. You might want to use them sometime."

I didn't smile. "You have classes."

"Yeah," he admitted. "Skipping."

"Neil--"

"Dude," he interrupted, holding up a hand. "I remember what you did for me. And I'm not gonna bail out on you either."

I sighed. "Thanks." 

Neil smiled at me, then quickly grew serious again. "So they don't know what's going on."

I sighed again. "No. Not one of those doctors have a damn clue what's wrong with her. My God, where did they get their degrees, Medical School for Dummies?"

Neil didn't smile at that. "Probably."

I rubbed my eyes blearily. "What time is it?"

"About one in the afternoon."

"What?" I grabbed the alarm clock near my bed. It said 1:14. "Oh, shit..." I leaped out of bed. "I have to go to the hospital-"

"You might want to take a shower first," Neil suggested. "No offense, man, but you stink."

I glared at him. "Thanks a lot."

~*~

Neil and I walked into Suze's room and just stared.

"What the--"

The room was filled. It was practically _overflowing_ with flowers and people and balloons. 

I stood there in the doorway, staring. "What--who--who _are_ all these people?"

Kelly Prescott came up to me. "Hey, Jake," she said. "When Cee Cee and Adam told us, we decided to come over--"

"Who's we?" I managed to ask.

"The sophomore class."

"The _entire_ sophomore class?" I asked, stunned. "Damn..."

"Well, Suze is VP after all and--people were really worried," Kelly explained. "There are more people around...I think Adam's gone to go and yell at the doctors--"

"Really?" I asked, feeling a smile grow on my face. "I think I'll go and join him."

~*~

The doctor, who was a dark shade of red by now, glared at me. "As I was just telling your friend, Mr. Ackerman, we can't treat an ailment that we know nothing about."

"So basically you're just twiddling your thumbs while my sister's in a coma!" I yelled.

The doctor turned even redder. "Mr. Ackerman--"

Adam, sitting next to me, snorted. "What is _wrong_ with you people? Have you all only got one brain cell to share between all of you?"

The doctor--Dr. Nelson from his nametag--was now turning purple. 

"Oh, here you are." I turned to see Paul Slater coming in through the door. "I was wondering what you were up to." He shot a look at Dr. Nelson and grinned. "Apparently pissing off the doctor. I approve completely."

Dr. Nelson stood up. "That's it," he said. "I understand your frustration, but there is absolutely no need to take it out on us--after all, none of you have medical degrees and do not realize how complicated a thing the human body is--I also understand your grief, but--

It was official. This guy was really getting on my nerves, what with his attitude--how dare he assume he knew how we felt--

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do. I believe you know the way out."

It was about then that the computer went flying across the room and hit the wall right over Dr. Nelson's head. Debris was flying everywhere.

My jaw hung open. "Wow," I managed after a moment. 

"That was interesting," Adam said.

Paul wasn't at all thrown, however, and seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly. The doctor glared at us. "Which one of you delinquents did it?"

"Dr...uh, Nelson, the computer is all the way across the room. Do you really think one of us could have picked that up and thrown it across the room at your head without you noticing?"

Dr. Nelson stared at him. "But-but who's going to pay for all this? he asked, gesturing to the wreckage. "That was a brand-new computer--it had all my files and research--"

"Well, I hope you have insurance--and backup files," Paul said. "We'll be leaving now--"

The thing was, as we left, I could have sworn I heard Paul say out of the corner of his mouth, "Not bad, De Silva...next time, just go straight for the head. Or trash the entire hospital...I'm not picky."

~*~

We ran into Cee Cee at a candy machine, apparently trying to beat the crap out of it.

"Webb?" Paul asked incredulously. "What are you doing?"

She didn't look at him and continued banging against the glass. "Trying to get my candy bar, obviously. I put in my stupid quarters and the stupid candy bar is stuck and it--won't--come--out." She hit the glass between each word.

Paul made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

I walked over to her. "Here." I banged the glass once with my fist. The candy bar dropped down. I reached down, pulled it out, and handed it to her.

She took it. "Thanks."

"Hey, it's a school day, right, so how come so many people are here?" I asked. 

A corner of Cee Cee's mouth tilted up. "When everyone found out about--" she paused, then continued, "--when everyone found out, a bunch of us decided to come over here."

"And Father Dominic's okay with you guys skipping school?" 

Paul shrugged. "He didn't stop us."

"But all of these people--"

"A lot of people admire her, I guess," Adam said. "She's one of the few people who has the guts to stand up to Kelly," here he grinned, "--not to mention that about half the guys at the school have a thing for her...including me."

"For Suze?" I stared at him incredulously. 

Paul grinned at me. "Ackerman, don't tell me you haven't noticed."

"Noticed what?" I demanded. 

Paul sighed. "That Suze is a major babe," he said slowly, as if talking to a toddler.

"Maybe you haven't noticed, Slater, but she's my sister," I retorted. "You think I want to ponder the state of my sister's love life?"

Cee Cee started to giggle. "Suze never liked to--" she stopped abruptly and closed her eyes, taking a long breath. 

"What is it?" I asked.

Her eyes opened and stared at me through her glasses. "_Suze never liked_," she hissed.

"So?" Adam said.

"You don't get it. I was talking about her in the past tense, like she's already--"

There was a long pause.

"Like she's already gone," I finished. There was a strange roaring in my ears. My throat was dry. 

"Jake--" Adam started, then stopped. What could he say?

"I--need to get back," I muttered and started walking quickly towards Suze's room. I was halfway there when I lost it and slammed my hand against the wall.

_"Boys...Mommy's sick."_

_"911, what's the emergency..."_

_"I'm afraid your mother isn't going to wake up..."_

_"...there appears to be no reason why she won't regain consciousness..."_

_"Jake...your mother would want this."_

_"No...I want her to wake up...I want her to wake up..."_

_"I was talking about her in the past tense, like she was already--"_

By the time I came back to reality, my knuckles were split and bleeding. There was blood smears on the wall.

I turned and kept walking.


	4. Chapter Four

Later that night, I went to get a glass of water. I saw someone sitting in the living room.

"Mom?"

She looked up, startled. "Jake--hey, sweetheart."

"Hey." I sat down next to her. "What are you doing?"

She gestured to the photo album in her lap. "Looking through some old pictures." I noticed her eyes were red-rimmed and there was a bunch of used tissues nearby on the couch and floor.

"Oh." I glanced down to see a picture of Suze at age six, smiling widely at the camera. She was missing her two front teeth and had her hair in pigtails. I smiled. "Cute picture. I'm surprised she didn't burn it."

Mom smiled too, tearfully. "I had to hide them from her for years. I couldn't sleep, so..."

"Yeah, that seems to be running around a bit," I said, looking straight ahead. I felt her gently stroking my hair. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "This has to be terrible for you."

I felt myself relax slightly. Like, just for a moment, I didn't have to be strong. "Yeah," I whispered. "It is."

I saw her nod. "When was the last time you ate?" I asked, looking at her. "You're too skinny."

A corner of her mouth crooked up. "Isn't that my line?"

I stood up and dragged her off the couch. "Come on. Let's go find some leftovers."

~*~

"Can I join you?"

Mom and I looked up from our bowls of reheated spaghetti. David was standing there in his pajamas with tousled hair. 

Mom smiled. "Of course, sweetie."

He nodded and poured himself a bowl of Cheerios. He took out the milk, opened it, and frowned. "How long have we had this milk?"

"A while now," Mom said.

He sniffed it gingerly and wrinkled his nose. "It's spoiled."

"We really need to buy some groceries," Mom said softly. "I'll go tomorrow--"

"I can do it," I offered. 

"Really?"

"Sure," I said, shrugging. "Just give me a list and I'll take care of it."

Mom smiled and then kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks, sweetheart."

"No problem," I said. And for some reason, when she kissed me, I didn't feel the least bit embarrassed.

~*~

"Jake, what are you doing here?"

I looked up to see Dana West, a girl in my psych class, walking towards me with a basket full of groceries. 

"Hey, Dana," I said. "What's up?"

"Nothing. Where have you been for the past few days?" Dana asked curiously. "You haven't been to any of your classes and no one's seen you around campus."

I raised an eyebrow. "You've been checking up on me?"

She blushed and stared down at the ground. "I was kind of worried," she mumbled.

"There's a family emergency I have to deal with," I told her. _That's one way of putting it..._

"Oh." Her blue eyes looked up into mine. "Can--can I ask what it is?"

I took a deep breath and stared mindlessly at the shelves of peanut butter in front of me. "My sister went into a coma. I've been spending most of my time at the hospital with my family."

I heard a soft intake of breath. "Oh my God, Jake, I'm so sorry." Her hand was on my arm, and normally I would have been trying to get up the nerve to ask her out. She was pretty, nice, and liked to surf--

But these weren't normal circumstances. 

I forced myself to smile. "It's all right." _No, it's not all right. Nothing right now is_. "Listen, I've got to get out of here." I turned and started walking away quickly.

"Jake, wait--"

I didn't look back.

~*~

As I opened the door, my arms full of groceries, I called, "Anybody here!"

Brad came down the stairs. "Everyone's at the hospital," he informed me.

I raised an eyebrow. "And you're not there because..."

"I didn't want to be," he said defiantly. 

I glared at him. "You haven't been to the hospital ever since Suze got in there."

He raised an eyebrow, waiting. 

"What the hell's the matter with you?" I demanded. 

"Well, excuse me, Saint Jake," Brad said, sarcasm tainting his voice. "If you could move out of the way, I've got to go."

"Oh, what are you going to do?" I asked derisively. "Go _surfing_?"

His eyes flashed. "Get the hell out of my way."

"Gladly," I snarled, and stomped off to the kitchen. 

_Jackass_, I fumed. _The asshole...what the hell's wrong with him?_

Just then, the phone rang.

"Hello?" I snapped.

"Jake? It's me, Cee Cee."

"Oh, hey, Cee Cee," I said, forcing myself to sound calmer. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I just--wanted to see how you were. How's everything going?"

"Other than realizing my brother's an uncaring bastard, not much."

There was a long pause on the other line. "You mean Brad."

"Who else?" I sighed. "What is wrong with him? It's not like this is the first--" I stopped abruptly. 

"It's got to be hard for him," Cee Cee said softly. 

"You think it's easy for me?" I asked angrily. "Or David or my dad--it's not. It sucks. I hate going to that hospital and seeing her there but we still go, because she's family and because if it was the other way around she'd be visiting us and--" I stopped. "He shouldn't be acting like nothing's changed, because everything's changed and..." I sighed again.

"Have you told him this?" Cee Cee asked.

"How can I? He's never around!"

"I think you should talk to him. Somebody needs to talk to him. To be honest, people at school are starting to talk about it--they're wondering why and--I don't know. It just sounds like someone needs to talk to him."

"What do I say?" I asked. "I'm not good with--words and stuff. I don't--I'll screw it up--I won't know the right thing to say--"

"Jake, all you need to say is what you just told me. I think he'll listen."

"Why are you so confident about this?" I asked. "How can you be so sure about him? He's my brother, but even I'll admit he's not exactly a saint."

I heard a soft chuckle. "Jake, no one will ever accuse your brother of sainthood any time soon. But--he's not completely horrible either. When I was in sixth grade, there was this bully, Bertha Watkins. She made it her personal mission to make my life a living hell, and she succeeded by the way. One day, I was walking to my locker after school, and Bertha was waiting for me. She knocked my books out of my arms and snatched my glasses off my face and then broke them. Well, I burst into tears and she walked off, laughing. Then Brad came up to me. And then he went and helped me pick up my books and papers. Handed me a tissue to mop up my face."

"My brother?" I asked, stunned. "You sure you're not confusing him with someone else?"

Cee Cee laughed. "No, I'm sure.  And--I don't know. Every time I see your brother I think about that. He's not--completely horrible. Yeah, he's a jerk most of the time--but--just talk to him, okay?"

"Okay," I said. "I will. Thanks."

"No problem. See you later, Jake."

"Bye, Cee Cee."

I heard a click, and hung up. 

_Yeah, he's a jerk most of the time--but--just talk to him okay?_

_Tomorrow_, I thought to myself._ I'll talk to Brad tomorrow._

A/N: Yes, I realize Brad has been nothing but a huge jerk throughout this story. There are reasons for that which will be explained in the next chapter. I pretty much had to make him act like that so that certain things later on could play out. Basically, all I'm saying is that yes, there is more to Brad than meets the eye. And David will come into this later.__


	5. Chapter Five

A/N: In this chapter, there WILL be swearing. Brad and Jake can't have this conversation without swearing and it be in character all at the same time. They're teenage boys with plenty of frustration and anger—for obvious reasons—and they're going to curse. Some people also mentioned that Suze doesn't smoke, and they're right. But she did smoke her one and only cigarette at her mom's wedding to Andy. It's mentioned in the first book and is one of the reasons that Jake originally thought she was in a gang. The leather jacket she was wearing over her bridesmaid dress didn't help either.

The next afternoon I was in the parking lot of the Mission Academy, waiting for Brad. 

As people started coming out of the doors, Adam and Cee Cee walked up to me. "Jake, what are you doing here? Last time I checked, you graduated last year," Adam said.

"I'm waiting for Brad," I explained. 

Cee Cee's eyes widened in approval. "Taking my advice, I see," she commented.

I shrugged. "What can I say? It was good advice." I finally saw Brad leaning against a wall, talking to Kelly Prescott and Debbie Mancuso. "Excuse me," I said quickly, and started walking towards him.

Brad spotted me, and his eyes widened. "What are you doing here?" he asked, obviously surprised. 

"Waiting for you," I said shortly. "Let's go."

"Go where?" he demanded. "I've already got plans, anyway—"

"They're cancelled," I told him and grabbed his shirt. "You're coming with me to the hospital."

Brad jerked out of my grasp. "Dude, get your hands off me."

I turned and glared at him. "You are coming with me, _dude_."

Brad raised an eyebrow. "And what if I don't _want_ to go with you?"

At this point, I noticed dimly that people were starting to watch us. But this point, I really didn't care. I stared at him for a long moment, then finally asked, "Brad, just what the fuck is wrong with you? When did you turn into such an asshole?"

A muscle in his jaw twitched. "What did you call me?"

"You heard me," I said angrily. "Suze is in the damn hospital, you idiot! She's in a fucking coma and you're acting like nothing happened! Now, I don't know _what_ your damn problem is, but get over it already. Now _let's go_."

He just stared at me, and for one second, I thought I saw fear in his eyes. "I'm not going," he said, his voice strained. "I won't go. I can't go."

Incredulously, I asked, "You _can't_? What, because of some—some stupid plans you made with your buddies? For the last time, cancel the damn plans and let in the freaking car, because you are _going_ to the hospital."

"I told you, I can't go!" Brad yelled at me.

"Why not?!" I demanded. 

"I'm not you, okay?" Brad said, his voice starting to shake. "I just can't—maybe you can sit there in that hospital room, holding her hand and waiting for her to wake up. I can't. Is—is holding her hand supposed to make a difference? Is that the miracle that's going to cure her from whatever's wrong?" Brad's eyes were glassy as he looked at me. "I went to the hospital every day for Mom, and guess what, Jake? It didn't do a damn bit of good."

"It's not the same," I said hoarsely.

"The hell it isn't!" he roared, glaring at me. "It's exactly the same, with those fuckin' doctors saying they can't do a damn thing to help—" His voice broke. 

I just looked at him, not knowing what to say. There was nothing to say.

He composed himself and looked at me, his eyes hard. "I'm not you," he repeated. "You were always tougher than I was."

"Brad..." I trailed off. 

He shook his head. "I have to get out of here," he muttered and walked off. 

For the first time, I became aware of everyone's eyes on me. There was complete silence as I unsteadily walked to a bench and sat down, putting my face in my hands.

_"I went to the hospital every day for Mom, and guess what, Jake? It didn't do a damn bit of good."_

Someone was standing next to me. "Jake." I looked up to see Father Dominic looking down on me kindly. "Why don't we go to my office?" he suggested, laying a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded. "Okay." I stood up and let him lead the way.

~*~

"I can't really imagine what your family is going through," Father Dominic said as he poured a cup of tea. 

"If you were listening to me and Brad out there, you've got a pretty good idea," I said glumly. 

He handed a cup of tea to me and I looked at it dubiously.

"Do you mind if I lace this with arsenic?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Well, as suicide is considered a mortal sin by the Church, I'm afraid I would have to object."

I snorted. "Too bad," I muttered. 

"You're not alone in this, you know," he told me. 

"Feels like it, sometimes," I said quietly, staring at the carpet. 

"May I ask how the rest of your family is doing?" Father Dominic asked.

"Let's see. Mom spends all her time at the hospital, Dad just wanders around the house like he's lost, David barely says anything to anyone, and Brad's in total denial. So, to answer your question, we're not doing too well right now."

"You didn't mention how you were doing," he commented. 

"My sister's in a coma that she might never come out of and my family's falling apart. How do you think I'm doing?" I asked bitterly.

"You don't know that she couldn't come out of the coma."

"Don't I? No one's able to help her. How is she supposed to wake up?"

"There _are_ people trying to help her," Father Dominic said quietly.

I snorted at that. "Who? The doctors? They don't have a clue. And if you're talking about God, He doesn't seem to be paying too much attention right now."

"God is always helping us," Father Dominic said quietly. "And you aren't alone in this. Remember that."

I looked at him for a moment, then sighed and looked down at the floor. "I'd better be going," I muttered, standing up.

Father Dominic looked disappointed. "All right."

At the door, I turned and said. "Uh…thanks. For the…tea and…everything."

He nodded. "You're welcome. And Jake…she could still come out of the coma."

I left without replying.

~*~

When I finally got to the beach, Brad was sitting on the sand, staring at the surf. I stood there for a moment, looking at him and the cloudy sky and the sea. Taking a deep breath, I walked over and plopped down next to him. 

He didn't look at me. "We used to have picnics down here when we were little, remember?"

I smiled at the memory. "Yeah, Mom would joke about having found the perfect guy who could fix anything and cooked like Julia Child."

"You think Dave remembers this place?"

I shook my head regretfully. "Nah. He was too little. The last time we were here he was, what, nine months old?"

Brad stated what was already on both our minds. "And by the time he was old enough to remember, she was already in the coma."

For a moment, there was no sound but the waves crashing against the sand. 

"He never cried," Brad said softly.

"Who didn't cry?"

"Dad," Brad said, finally looking at me. "I never saw him cry after Mom died. Not even at the funeral."

"He did," I told him. "Late at night, when he thought we were all sleeping, I'd lay in my bed and listen to him sobbing in his room."

Brad turned back to look at the ocean. 

"I can't do this again," he whispered. "I can't sit there and have the doctors ask us if we want to pull the—" He stopped abruptly, closing his eyes. "I can't do that again."

"We're not there yet. It's only been—" I stopped to think, and with some shock I said, "It's only been four days. This is the fourth day today."

Brad let out a noise of disbelief. "Yeah, well, it feels like forever."

"I know."

"We don't know her." He said it so quietly I nearly missed what he said. 

"What?"

"I said we don't know her," Brad said, turning to face me. "We don't, not really. She could die and we'd be burying this stranger. I don't why she does the strange things she does, I don't know why all these weird things keep happening to her, I don't know her. And neither do you." He stared at me, waiting for an answer.

I stared at my shoes, hoping I could come up with something to say. And I did, finally.

"We don't have to know her," I said quietly, staring at the waves. "We don't have to know why the weird things happen to her or why she does the things she does—we don't have to know that. She's our sister. She became our sister the moment Mom and Dad got married, and that's enough. Would I like to know more about her? Definitely. And when all this mess is over, we will get to know her."

"If she survives."

"She will," I said firmly. "Dude, remember that time when that psycho Meducci messed with our car?"

Brad snorted. "You don't exactly forget shit like that, man."

"Yeah, well, we should have died that day, right? But we didn't. And remember when Suze saved Bryce Martinson's life by pushing him out of the way of that falling beam? She could have died—"

"But she didn't," Brad finished for me.

"Exactly. I don't know Suze all that well, but I know that she's got a trick of landing on her feet. She'll get through this."

Brad digested this. After a moment, he asked, "How mad do you think Mom and Dad are at me?"

I smiled. "They'll get over it. I stood up, brushing the sand off my jeans. "Come on, let's go."

Brad stood up, and this time, he didn't ask where.

~*~

It was about 12:30 when I heard a noise coming from Suze's bedroom. I got out of bed and walked over to her room.

Dave was about halfway out of the window when I opened the door.

"David? What the hell are you doing?" I half-whispered. "Get back in here, man!"

He looked guiltily at me. "Jake…um, is there any chance you'd just go back to bed and forget you saw me sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night?"

"Not a chance in hell," I said flatly. "Spill."

He sighed. "I didn't think so. Look, I have to take care of something."

"Take care of it in the morning," I told him. "Now get inside."

David sighed again. "Jake, I have to do something. It's—it's about Suze."

I blinked at him. "What, are you going to the hospital? Dave, dude, visiting hours are over by now."

"No, I'm not going to the hospital—Jake, I'm late as it is. I'm going, but it would be a lot faster if I was in a car."

I stared at him. "You want me to drive? _Now_?"

He looked impatient. "You can drive me there or not, it's your choice. But either way I'm going."

I stared at him for a long moment. The last time he had asked me to take him somewhere in the middle of the night—Suze had been buried under a ton of rubble that we had to fish her out of.

And now she was in a coma.

I took a breath. "Give me a few minutes to get some clothes on."


	6. Chapter Six

A/N: I've changed a few things in the previous chapters. Namely, the amount of time Suze's has been in a coma. It's now two weeks. I know that's really out of the blue, but I don't know how else to change things without rewriting the entire story, which would take even MORE time and leave you guys without new chapters and having to read material you've already read. And seeing as it's just a few minor changes, I'm sure no one wants me to do that. 

"All right, where are we going?" I asked as I started the car. 

"The Mission," David said quietly.

"What's going on, David?" I asked quietly. "I know Suze isn't buried under a bunch of rubble this time, so just tell me what's going on."

There was a pause. "Jake, just take me to the Mission, okay? When we get there, don't ask any questions, just get back in the car and drive home. If Mom and Dad ask any questions, you have no idea where I am."

A grim chuckle escaped my mouth as I looked at him. "Dave, if you really think I'm going to do that, then you don't know me at all. I'm not going anywhere, so you might as well tell me."

Dave let out a sigh and rubbed his face. "You won't believe it," he said flatly.

"Try me."

David looked at me. "Maybe we should wait until we get to the Mission."

~*~

When we walked into the church, the first thing I saw was Father Dominic poring over a book. His eyes grew huge as he saw the two of us walking towards him. "Jake?"

I stared at David. "You're meeting _him_?" I stared at Father Dominic incredulously. "Father, aren't you supposed to be _encouraging_ him to obey his parents?"

"Jake—"

"Because I don't know if David's told you this, but our mom and dad usually frown on sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night without permission. Just to let you know."

Father Dominic gave me a tired smile at this. "Yes, I understand. But in this case—well, sometimes someone must do the right thing for the wrong reasons."

Just then we heard two male voices coming closer. "I'm getting too old for this crap," one voice grumbled. 

"Spare me," another voice snapped. "You're loving this. Finally getting out into the world, having a little adventure instead of staring at the TV watching Nick at Nite—"

"Watch it, you—" The door opened and Paul Slater walked in, pushing an old man in a wheelchair. Their eyes widened simultaneously. "Ackerman?" Paul asked, incredulous. "What are you doing here?"

I stared at him. "Funny. I was about to ask you guys the same thing."

The old man gestured at me. "Who the hell's this guy?"

Father Dominic, behind me, sighed. "Oliver, this is Jake Ackerman, Suze's oldest brother. Jake, this is Dr. Oliver Slaski, Paul's grandfather."

The old man looked me up and down. "Huh. Doesn't look much like her."

I gritted my teeth and said, "Will somebody please explain what's going on?"

They looked at me. Father Dominic stood in front of me and said, "Jake…it's best if you don't know—"

"Like hell," I interrupted. "You don't have a damn clue what—" my breathing was becoming ragged, like I'd run a marathon. "My family's been in this nightmare for two weeks, and you've known what's wrong with her the whole—" I swallowed. "You bastards."

Father Dominic looked away. "This was precisely what I warned her about…"he muttered. Then his eyes focused on a point beyond my shoulder. "Jesse, I'm not sure if…" 

I whirled around. There was no one behind me. "Who are you talking to?" I stared at the priest warily. Maybe he was losing it…I looked at David, and he shrugged.

Paul threw up his hands, his eyes focused on the same point in space that Father Dominic and his grandfather was. "Fine, De Silva. Go right ahead."

That's when my car keys flew out of my pocket and were suspended in mid-air. 

"Jesus," I said weakly. "Is everyone seeing what I'm seeing here?"

"Well, yeah," Paul said easily. "Only we can see the guy that's holding your keys." He walked up to me and clapped a friendly hand on my shoulder. "Jake, I'd like to introduce you to Jesse De Silva, our resident ghost. He's a lot like Casper actually. Only not bald. More's the pity."

My legs were like jelly. "This—isn't—happening," I croaked, watching my keys being thrown up in the air and caught by invisible hands. "I'm—I'm seeing things…"

Paul sighed and turned to Father Dominic. "Give me a hand here, would you?"

~*~

After a lot of talking, and more tricks by the ghost—spirit—whatever—they finally had me convinced. 

"So…my sister can see ghosts?" I asked in Father Dominic's office. 

"For the last time, yes," Paul said impatiently. 

"And she's also got the ability to enter some ghostly netherworld."

"Correct," Dr. Slaski said. "Although she really shouldn't have gone up there in the first place…"

Paul snorted as he sat down in a chair next to his grandfather. "Oh, please. It's not that big a deal. I've been going up there since I was ten."

"Yes, and look how well _you_ turned out," Dr. Slaski shot back. "Might I remind you that the reason I'm dying a slow death is because I went up there one too many times?"

I paled. "Is that why she's in a coma?"

"Not exactly," Father Dominic interjected. "You see, Suze's soul is trapped up there."

"Why?" I asked. "From what it sounds like, you guys can go in and out of that place anytime you feel like it."

"Usually, that's the case," Dr. Slaski said. "The problem is, that there are certain spirits up there that don't want your sister to leave…and are keeping her prisoner."

"Why are they doing that?"

"Well, not every ghost that exists is as friendly as Mr. De Silva here," Dr. Slaski said, gesturing to the space to the right of Father Dominic's desk.  He paused, listening to something, then smiled. "He wants me to tell you that you're handling this very well."

"Uh…thanks." I muttered. "Hey, wait. Did he smash that doctor's computer in the hospital? Not that that was a bad thing…"

Paul laughed. "Yeah, that was him. Not exactly an even-tempered kind of guy, is he?"

"Huh. Nice job, dude," I said, gazing where everyone else was, even though I couldn't see him. Then I got back to the important stuff. "Okay, bad ghosts who don't want Suze to leave. Wait, why don't they want her to leave?"

Father Dominic cleared his throat here. "Jake, I assume you know what an exorcism is."

"Yeah, sure, along with every person who's seen the Exorcist."

"Some of the ghosts that Susannah has had to deal with are rather…troublesome. In some cases, the only way to stop these ghosts  from creating even more havoc is by exorcizing them. And your sister has performed quite a number of exorcisms."

I rolled my eyes at this. "Great. She can't even do the laundry without turning all the white stuff pink, and yet she's a pro at kicking the butts of the undead. That is so typical."

Paul snorted at that. Father Dominic continued.

"The problem is that about two weeks ago, your sister was dealing with a very…angry ghost. One that was furious at his death, which he considered to be unfair."

"Oh, come _on_, Father D," Paul interrupted. "Enough with the sugarcoating. The guy was a violent ass, pure and simple." Dr. Slaski hit him on the head. "What? I can't say ass in front of a priest?" 

His grandfather hit him again, and Paul rubbed his head. "Guess not," he muttered.

"Okay, so there was a nasty ghost out there. Then what?" I demanded. 

"Suze found the ghost, right when he was about to take someone's life," Paul said. "She couldn't do an exorcism, so she just grabbed the guy and took him up there with her. Apparently this ghost was so angry that his fury somehow called all the other ghosts up there that were taken to their afterlives against their will. They banded together to create this…force that won't let Suze go. And now's she's stuck up there."

"So get her out," I said, folding my arms. "I mean, if you guys are the same as she is, then why not get her out?"

"What do you think we've been trying to _do_ for the past two weeks?" Paul asked. "Every time we try, that—_thing_ recognizes us as shifters and won't let us get near her. So, we thought that if we got David up there—"

"They might see him as an ordinary spirit and he could get close enough to set her free,"

Dr. Slaski finished. 

I looked at David, who had been pretty quiet throughout all this. "But you're not a shifter." I shot him a wary look, having second thoughts. "Right?"

David smiled slightly at that. "No. I'm not."

"Then how are you going to get up there?"

David met my gaze squarely. "Jake, they're going to exorcize me. That's how I'm going to get up there."

I stared at him for a long moment. He had to be joking. "You—you're not—you're joking."

But David wasn't really the joking type, and he didn't seem to be joking… 

"Oh my God—are you _crazy_?" I yelped. "No, no, this—this is insane." I looked at Father Dominic, who seemed unable to look me in the face. "You're just going to let him do this?"

"Jake," Dr. Slaski said patiently, "—we have exhausted all our other options. This is the only way we can think of to get your sister back."

"Then think up another option," I said harshly. "You don't even know if this'll work—"

"I can do it," David objected. 

"There are a million things that could go wrong."

"Jake, we know—" Father Dominic tried to say, but I was on a roll.

"For all you know, he could be trapped right up there with Suze. Or they might kill him. Or he could come back, with Suze, but die anyway from the after-effects of being up there."

"All your concerns are valid," Dr. Slaski said. 

"I know what I'm doing," David insisted. 

I stared at him, disbelieving. "Oh, please, you're a kid! You're thirteen years old—Christ, you don't even have chest hair yet and you're gonna make this kind of decision?"

"I don't have a choice!" David yelled at me. "This is the only way we can bring her back." His voice cracked as he said, "I _have_ to bring her back. Jake…Suze always has to take these risks for other people, people that she doesn't even know most of the time. It's about time someone took a risk for her."

"You're not going to do this," I told him, my voice hoarse.

"Watch me."

"No, I…" I took a deep breath. "I get what you're saying, believe me. But you don't have to do this."

Paul interrupted. "Well, unless you're planning to leave Suze in a coma, then—"

"No," I said. "That's not what I mean." I glanced at Father Dominic, and I knew that he understood what I was trying to say. 

"You want to do it," he said.

"Yeah," I said, holding out my arms. "You need somebody to exorcize, right? Well, then, you've got me."


	7. Chapter Seven

A/N: I am absolutely horrible at updating. See, I was distracted by writing a bunch of one-shots that went absolutely nowhere. And I finally got back to this. So, to reward my patient reviewers and appease the not-so-patient ones, I wrote a new chapter. 

Of course, it was a little bit more complicated than that. First, I had to convince David to let me do this. 

"Jake, I don't mind doing this," David insisted. "Really."

"Well, that's great except you're _not_ doing this," I told him. "That'll be over my dead bod—" I paused. "Maybe I shouldn't finish that sentence."

David looked slightly pale. "Jake, I can do this."

I sighed. "David, in thirteen years I've never kicked your ass. I haven't even attempted to kick your ass. Do you really want to ruin that record?

"No."

"Then shut up already. I'm doing this, end of story."

"Jake, you don't have to protect me."

"Of course I do," I replied. "You're my little brother. Now I've got an exorcism to participate in."

~*~

"Comfortable?" Dr. Slaski asked.

"Pretty much," I said, wriggling around a little bit on the pillows. "Kinda creeped out though. Feel like I'm about to be sacrificed or something."

Everyone just _looked_ at me, and I winced. "Sorry. Bad choice of wording there."

As he lit the candles surrounding me, Father Dominic apparently felt it necessary to ask one more time, "Jake, are you sure—"

"I'm doing this, Father," I said, cutting him off. "So, do your thing. Exorcise me already."

My exorcism wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. There was smelly incense and lots of Latin chants. I couldn't understand a thing, but the rhythm of the words was soothing somehow and I started to doze. Funny…I hadn't had a good night's sleep since Suze…since Suze…

"Jake, it's time," Father Dominic said. 

I turned to look at him, and saw David's face. His face was so pale that it made his freckles stand out even more. I sat up, worried. "Jake, what is it?"

David pointed at me. "Jake…you…look down."

I looked. And I saw…myself. I literally had split into two people. There was my body, eyes closed and the other me, my…spirit? Soul?

And you know what my spirit looked like? It looked just like me, only with this faint glow. 

I mean, it shouldn't have been such a shock. The ghost had already done plenty of tricks to convince me. But for this to actually happen…I don't know, it just made it all real somehow.

"Look up," Paul said softly, and I did. And the dome was just…gone, and all I could see were stars, surrounded by smoke. The thing was, there were no constellations that I could see. No Big Dipper, no North Star, no…this wasn't the night sky I was used to. None of the constellations that my mom had taught me when I was little were there. 

"Oh God," I whispered, and stood up. "Oh…oh my God."

"Jake, you have to focus," Dr. Slaski told me.

"Focus? You've freaking opened the door to another dimension, my soul has been separated from my body, and you want me to _focus_?" Yeah, I was pretty much shrieking at this point.

"We talked about this," another male voice said, with a faint accent. I whirled around, and saw a Latino guy in an outfit that was straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean. 

"You…you're Jesse," I realized.

"Jake, you knew what was going to happen. You _accepted_ it."

"I know, but…" I shook my head slightly. "No, you're right. You're right, I have to do this." I stopped and looked at him. He was a pretty good looking guy…the sort girls swooned over. Girls like Suze…

"Hey, wait a minute," I said, turning to everyone else. "_This_ is the guy that was living in Suze's bedroom? Are you _serious_?"

Paul laughed at that, while David grinned for what felt like the first time in forever. Dr. Slaski snorted, while Father Dominic protested, "Now, Jake, Jesse is a very honorable young man…"

"Who cares?" I asked. "You're a _priest_ for crying out loud, you're supposed to oppose co-ed living arrangements on principle unless there's a marriage license involved." 

Paul was nearly cackling by this point, and even David was laughing. Jesse was turning red—and ghosts blush?

"Jake," Dr. Slaski said, "we are on a time limit here. You've got exactly 24 minutes left." He threw me an end of a very long piece of rope. "Tie this around your waist."

After I did, I turned back to Jesse and pointed my finger at him. "And don't think this is the end of this, dude. I swear to God, you are so lucky you're already dead, because otherwise our parents would skin you alive. And then they'd kill Suze, but they'd definitely go after you first."

"Jake!"

"Right, sorry." I set to climbing up into the hole. When I finally got in, I took one last glance down at them, at my brother's face. _There are a million ways this can go wrong_, I thought, _and only one way this can go right._

Then I went in.

There wasn't really much to this netherworld. Nothing but stars and fog. Not that I wasn't freaking out because I really was. I was wigging out beyond belief. There was literally no sound. Nothing. I couldn't even hear my own footsteps. 

Damn, this place was creepy. 

I checked my watch. Twenty-two minutes. I took a deep breath and howled, "Suze! SUZE!"

Suze didn't show up. But a guy dressed in full-out gladiator gear did. I'm not kidding. This dude would fit right in during the times of ancient Rome, but here, he kinda stuck out a little bit. But hey, I'd just been exorcised, so who was I to judge weird?

"You do not belong here," Gladiator Dude intoned.

I wasn't in the mood, and time was running out. "Yeah, I kinda know that. See, I'm looking for my sister. About sixteen years old, dark curly hair, green eyes and a major attitude." 

"The mediator," he said, folding his arms, which were freaking huge.

"Yup, that's her. Where is she?"

"She is imprisoned here."

I was getting really impatient now. "Again, already knew that. And why the hell aren't you helping her?"

"The spirits won't allow for it. It is beyond my power to assist her."

Oh God. If this…giant couldn't get Suze out, how the hell could I manage to do it? 

"But perhaps…" Gladiator Guy said, looking me over, "perhaps you could. It all depends…on how much you're willing to sacrifice."

"I'm here, aren't I?" I was shivering slightly. Damn, it was cold in there, with the fog…

"Go," he ordered, pointing towards a long corridor with doors on either side that hadn't been there a minute before. "Do not open the doors, and do not go into the light."

I stared at him. "Oh my…Jesus, tell me you're kidding. 'Do not go into the light'? Are you _serious_?"

He looked exasperated. "I am not kidding. You are not supposed to go into the light. What is so strange about that?"

Apparently when you're monitoring the ghostly netherworld, you have little time to see the _Poltergeist_. "Nothing," I said. "Wait. If I can't open the doors, then how am I supposed to find her?"

He looked grim. "They will come."

"Okay, well how do I recognize them? I'm kinda new at this whole thing…"

His expression got even grimmer, if that was possible. "You will recognize them. Believe me."

I looked at the doors nervously, and when I looked back, he was gone.

I shivered again, but this time not because of the cold.


	8. Chapter Eight

A/N: This is a short chapter, but I had to update _something_, so...Thanks for all the reviews and demands to get my lazy ass into gear. It helped.

"Suze!" I hollered. My voice was getting hoarse from all the shouting, which made no sense. I mean, it wasn't like I had vocal chords…oh, hell. I didn't even know why I was trying to make sense of anything anymore. _Nothing_ about this made sense. I had just been exorcised on the advice of a ghost I couldn't even see, was currently in a ghostly netherworld trying to get my stepsister back to Earth so she could snap out of a coma…hell, my life had beaten Stephen King and Anne Rice in weird, okay?

I checked my watch again. Dammit. 17 minutes and counting. "Susannah Simon, get your mediator ass over here!" I howled. "NOW!"

A cold wind ruffled my hair, and I shivered. 

And then…_it_ came.

It was like a tornado, only more…solid, somehow, and with streaks of color breaking up the gray. My skin was crawling, and everything inside of me was telling me to run, because this…thing, whatever it was, wasn't right, wasn't _natural_. And somewhere, I could hear screaming.

Then the tornado disappeared, and there was this huddling girl with wild dark curls rocking back and forth in front of me…

"Suze?" I croaked.

She looked up at me, her eyes wide and frightened. "J-Jake? What-"

I stumbled towards her, and collapsed on the ground. "You're okay," I whispered, and hugged her hard. "You're okay."

I heard a choking sound, and then she was hugging me back. "God, it is you," she breathed. "How-"

"Long, long story," I said, releasing her. "We have to go," I said, standing up and tugging at her arm. She resisted. "Suze, we don't have a lot of time."

"How'd you get up here?"

"Father Dominic exorcised me," I explained, impatient. "And unlike you, I can't stay up here for more than thirty minutes-"

"Why _you_?" she demanded. "Jake, you're not supposed to know anything about this-"

"Yeah, and by the way, thanks _so_ much for keeping us all in the dark," I said sarcastically. "By the way, it was either me or David. No one else could get past those—things."

"_David_? But he's so-"

"Young? Exactly!" I agreed. I liked Father Dominic and all, but that had been an insane idea. I tugged again at her hand and this time, Suze didn't resist, and stood up. "Okay, we have to get out of here," I said. "Like, now. I've got less than twenty minutes to get-"

And then it returned. The spirit…thing. I grabbed Suze's hand and--they started to circle around us, like we were the eye of a hurricane. My legs were threatening to give way, I was so scared. 

_What am I doing here? I don't belong here!_ I screamed inside my head. Or maybe out loud, I don't know. The only thing I was sure of was that I wasn't letting go of Suze's hand. _I don't belong here_, I screamed again.

And somewhere, a hissing voice responded, _Yes. You do not belong. Get out. Leave._

_Not without her, _I answered.

And then we were...for lack of a better word, invaded. These wind-spirits...they went through us, inside of us--they were outside, inside, invading, circling like vultures--

And the utter cold...it was numbing, it dove at you like knives. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't _think--_all I knew was that this hurt so, so much.

I could hear screams. My own. And Suze's too, maybe, I didn't know. 

And I could feel their minds, sort of. I got a sense of who they were, or had been when they were alive. I got a vague impression of a British solider...maybe from the Revolutionary war...a girl with blonde hair...but the thing that hit me the most was the rage. And the hatred. Suze had banished them here, and they weren't going to let her go. Or me.

A rough chant started. _Letgoletgoletgoletgo--_

And I started my own. _Nonononononono--_

_Lethimgo_, they said to Suze. _Savehimfromthis--_And I could feel her grip relaxing just a little--

_Don't you dare let go, Suze_, I yelled out to her. _If you do, I swear I'll come back the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. You guys hear me?_ I screamed out. _I am not letting her go!_

My hand was going numb, and I could no longer feel Suze's hand in mine.

_Oh, God, I'm sorry--_I gasped out. _I'm so sorry. _I didn't know who I was apologizing to. Maybe Suze, or David--or my entire family.

Then I blacked out.

~*~

_Why do you do this?_ a voice asked.

_I don't have a choice_, I answered. 

_Yes, you do. There is always a choice._

_Not here, not with this. I had to save her._

_You have to protect her, don't you? the voice asked. Not just her, but your brothers, your father, your stepmother, all of them. You need to keep them safe. Why?_

~*~

I was little when my mother was sick. One night, when I was eight, I came down to get some water and saw my mom sitting there at the couch. 

"Hey mom," I said.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, smiling. Her face was a lot thinner these days, and she had a scarf wrapped around her head like a turban. It didn't matter though, because all of us--me, Dad, Brad, and David—we all thought she was still beautiful. "Come here and sit by me."

I didn't need to be told twice. I sat down next to her, and snuggled in. She was a lot thinner than she used to be, but her skin still smelled like raspberries. 

"This is nice," she murmured after a moment.

"Yeah," I agreed happily. "Think the new medicine will work?"

"We'll see," she said distantly, then started to stroke my hair. I knew she hated to talk about the medicine and all the stuff the doctors did, but she hadn't said no, so...maybe it would be okay. "Jake, sweetheart, can you do me a favor?" I knew she was changing the subject, a thing of adults that I hated, but I let her anyway. 

"Uh huh."

"Take care of your siblings. Just--just look out for them, okay? Can you do that?" Her eyes were shining, and she was blinking a lot.

"Sure," I replied, grinning up at her. "I'll do it. No problem."

"Thank you," she whispered, holding me tight. "That's my boy. That's my boy."

~*~

And somewhere, a voice said thoughtfully, _Ah. Now I see._

~*~

Groaning softly, I opened my eyes. I was on the floor, and I felt like I'd been worked over by the nastiest wave ever. 

I tried to sit up, and realized something.

My hand was still holding on to Suze's. Not as tight as before, but her hand was still in mine. She was there, unconscious, but _there_.

I hadn't let her go.

"Suze?" I said softly, shaking her shoulder. "Suze, wake up."

She moaned. "Wha..." She sat up slowly, holding her head. "What happened?"

My breathing was unsteady. "I think...I think they're gone." I paused, looking around. There was no one there. No one but us...With more confidence, I said, "They're gone, Suze. We got rid of them."

Suze looked at me. "No. You did." She paused, and her eyes were shining. "Jake—thank you."

"Let's get out of here first," I suggested. "Then you can thank me. Preferably with money."

She grinned, then her forehead wrinked. "Jake, what happened to your rope?"

I looked down. The rope tied around my waist was frayed, the end broken. "Oh God," I murmured. "And I've only got--" I checked my watch, "--thirteen minutes left! Suze--"

"Maybe I could help," an amused voice said. 

I turned around. A man with green eyes was standing there smiling at us. Green eyes—that looked exactly like Suze's.

"Dad?" Suze croaked.

His smile grew wider. "Hey, sweetheart."

I shook my head slowly in disgust at the insanity of the situation. "The sad part is, I can't even be surprised at this."

Mr. Simon looked at me, grinning. "Great job, Jake."

"Thanks," I said. 

"I have a message to relay," he told me, adding. "Now, normally, this doesn't happen but—your mom says she's proud of you. Really proud."

My voice was unsteady as I asked, "Can you give her a message back?"

He nodded. "Sure."

"Could you tell her that I—"

"She knows," he reassured me. "She's always known. Always." He turned to Suze. "Sweetie, I gotta go now."

"You're moving on," Suze realized.

He nodded. "Yeah. Time for me to bite the bullet I guess," he joked. He grew more serious. "You were always telling me it was time. You were right."

Suze was crying softly. "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too, sweetie," he said, drawing her into a hug. "But you'll be okay. You're gonna be just fine." He paused, his jaw clenching. "I love you."

"Love you too," I heard Suze mumble into his shoulder. She stepped back finally, wiping her cheeks. 

Mr. Simon looked at me, and I could see the tears in his eyes. "Come on. Let's get you two out of here."

~*~

I looked down the hole. There I was, sleeping on the floor. Everyone was pacing around me, and I could see David chewing his fingernails.

Mr. Simon gripped me by the shoulders. "Thank you. For everything," he said honestly, then pushed me out of the hole.

I might have yelled as I fell back into my body. After that, there was nothing.

------

2nd A/N: Heh. Heh heh. Love writing cliffhangers. So much fun. Stay tuned.


	9. Chapter Nine

"Jake?"

It was so cold…Christ, this was unbearable. I ached all over…it felt like I'd been worked over by the largest wave. My head was pounding…and the cold. So, so _cold_…

"Jake, wake up. You have to wake up."

"Ackerman…wake the hell up."

Shuddering, I cracked my eyes open.

"Jake!" Father Dominic. "Are you all right?" In response I managed to groan a little. No, no, I was definitely not okay.

"Where's Suze?" Paul demanded. "Is she all right? Did you get her out?"

Weakly, I nodded, coughing. I closed my eyes for a long moment. Damn, I was tired. Exhausted, actually, like I'd run a marathon. Apparently, fighting the undead really takes a lot of a guy. When I opened my eyes again, Dr. Slaski was peering at me.

"No offense, kid, but you look like hell."

I could have cared less. "Why's it so…cold?" I whispered, cracking my eyes open again.

"What? Jake--" David stared at me. His freckles were standing out again, so that meant he was worried. "Jake, you're freezing. Hey, can we get him a blanket--Jake? Jake!"

Someone was shaking me, and people were calling out my name, but it didn't matter. I was officially out of it.

I heard the voice again. _For every action, a consequence. This is yours._

_For every action…_

_a consequence..._

_this is yours..._

_your consequence..._

_my consequence...yes, mine. I knew the risks. My actions, my consequences._

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, I was wrapped in a very hot, very scratchy wool blanket.

"Jake!" David cried out, looking relieved. "You're awake."

"Yeah," I mumbled, sitting up. "Yeah, I...ooh. Ohh, boy," I groaned as the headache I'd had before returned with a vengeance. "Damn. Is my head supposed to feel like somebody took a sledgehammer to it?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Paul said, walking up to us. "And damn, Ackerman, it's about time you woke up. We were thinking of calling 911. And then we'd have to explain what'd happened, which would end up with all of us in the psychiatric ward."

"I've been to a few of those," Dr. Slaski reminisced. "They aren't so bad."

"You know, when I said I was going to do this, you didn't mention I was going to feel like complete crap afterwards," I complained.

"Would you have changed your mind?" Dr. Slaski asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but at least then I'd be prepared," I grumbled, then asked plaintively, "Anyone got some aspirin? Excedrin? Or maybe just some good old morphine?"

"Sorry," Father Dominic said, coming in. "I'm afraid we're all out of morphine." He smiled at me. "Feeling better?"

"Sort of," I grumbled. Then I brightened. "But Suze is okay. She's okay."

Father Dominic smiled at me. "Yes, she is."

"What happened?" Dr. Slaski asked.

So, I told them. I told them about the spirits, about finally beating them only to find my rope broken, about Suze's father coming to save us. The only part I didn't mention was Mom's message. That was...just between us.

"And Suze is back," Paul said.

"Yes," I said, and stood up. Every bone, every joint in my body ached…there wasn't an inch of me that didn't hurt. Lord, this sucked. Of course it was worth it, I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I had to, but the pain still sucked beyond belief.

"So," Father Dominic said, "we'll wait until we get the official word from the hospital."

I stared at him as if he were insane. "Father, are you crazy? After all that, you think I'm gonna just twiddle my thumbs until the hospital calls?"

Paul sighed. "Jake, we can't just show up there, in the middle of the night, and have Suze wake up right then. It'll seem too weird."

Oh, yeah. "Crap," I groaned. "C'mon, Dave. Might as well go back home."

"Uh, wait a minute," Dr. Slaski said. "Jesse wants to know if that's such a good idea, you driving."

Jesse? Oh, right, the ghost I couldn't see anymore. I shrugged. "Should be okay."

"Yeah," David said, grinning at me. "Maybe now you'll drive at a reasonable speed."

I glared at him. "Suze's rubbing off on you too much."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

It was, but I wasn't going to say that. Instead, I just put him in a headlock and marched him out of there.

* * *

"Hey, David?"

"Yeah?"

"When I was exorcised...how did you see me? I mean, you're not a mediator, right?"

David sighed. "Dr. Slaski had this...liquid elixir, he called it. It does something to you...helps you see ghosts. It works for a while, but then it can't work ever again."

"Oh." I nodded, then paused. "Wait. There aren't any side effects, are there?"

"No," David reassured me.

"Good. Good." Only one of us needed to go through hell with the lousy side effects.

"Jake?" David's face was worried.

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna be okay, right?" David's voice was slightly higher than usual, and I really, really _got_ how scared he must have been when I blacked out back at the Mission.

I didn't know the answer to that, but I gave him what he wanted to hear. "Yeah, man. Don't worry about it. I'm fine."

But if I wasn't okay...well. There were consequences, I knew. The voice had told me that. I'd known that the minute I'd crawled into the hole, the minute I'd found Suze, the minute I'd faced down all those ghosts.

There was going to be consequences.

And whatever they were, I could deal with them.

* * *

The first consequence apparently involved me puking my guts out.

"Jake, sweetie?" Mom's voice. "Are you all right?"

In response, I groaned. Not really helping my story of 'yeah, I'm totally cool and not puking my guts out.' I lay down on the cold porcelain floor, which felt good against my flushed face.

This sucked beyond all belief. How the hell did anyone do this? _Why_ would anyone want to do this? If this was the effect of being up in that place, then I would stay on Earth for the rest of his life, and maybe even beyond that, thank you very much. God.

The door opened, and I saw a pair of slippered feet coming towards me. "Sick," I mumbled.

"Oh, honey," she said, kneeling down and touching my shoulder. "Did you eat some bad food?"

"Uh huh," I mumbled. I was shivering again. Oh God...I lurched up into a sitting position so I could puke some more. Right then, I hated the universe and everyone in it. Except for Mom, because she was rubbing my back and making soothing sounds.

Finally, after I was finished, I rinsed out my mouth.

"Do you want something to eat?" Mom asked. "Some chicken soup?"

My stomach lurched again. Food. Ugh. "Nah," I told her. "I'm just gonna go to bed."

* * *

"Waiting sucks, man," I mumbled.

David smiled. "I agree."

Something that was bothering me for a while popped back into my head. "So...that Jesse guy," I tried for a casual tone of voice, but by the look David gave me, I failed completely. "What's with him and Suze? They going out or something?"

David shrugged. "I think so. Is that a problem?"

I stared at him. "Are you crazy? Of course it's a problem--he's a _ghost_!"

"Ssh," David cautioned, glancing at the door. I didn't know why, since it was freakin' closed, but whatever. "He's a nice guy?"

"How do you know," I demanded. "Have you had any conversations with him? What, can you channel the dead now?"

"Well, there was this one time..."

"David, for the love of God, do not finish that sentence," I warned. "I really can't handle any more weirdness tonight." He grinned at me, his braces glinting, and I continued. "It's just...he's not real."

"Of course he is," David said, sounding bewildered. "You saw him tonight. You know he's there, he exists."

He didn't understand. I shook my head. "No, you don't get it. He exists, yeah, but not in the way we do. He--he doesn't eat, he doesn't need to breathe, and the only people he can touch are mediators like Suze. He--" I took a breath. "He'll never be able to meet Dad, or Mom. He won't be able to take Suze to her prom, or even to the movies or..." I trailed off.

David looked sad. "No. He won't."

I sighed. "Look, Jesse's probably a good guy, I don't know. But...I don't see how it could work."

"Neither do I," David admitted. "Suze's going to have her heart broken...isn't she?"

I sighed again. "Yeah. She probably is."

* * *

Later on, Brad came in. "What are you doing?" I asked sleepily.

He shrugged, looking awkward. "Nothing." A pause. I could tell he wanted to come in, he just didn't know how. So I made it easy on him.

"Are you coming in or what? Cause there's a draft coming in from the door."

Brad grinned and shut the door behind him, sitting on a chair. "Heard the snoring, thought it was you." I glanced at David, snoring peacefully besides me.

"If he ever gets married, his wife will have to be deaf," I muttered, and we both chuckled. A thought came to me. "Hey, Brad."

"Yeah?" He lounged in my chair, looking relaxed.

"When Suze wakes up..."

"When?" His eyebrows went up.

Maybe it wasn't a smart idea, but I held my ground. "Yeah, when."

Brad considered it. "Okay. When."

"When she wakes up...you think we should teach her how to surf?"

He frowned. "She's probably be worried about her hair getting messed up."

A few weeks ago, I would have agreed. After realizing the shit she'd gone through all her life, I had a different outlook now. "She could be into it."

"Maybe," Brad agreed. "Just...don't get your hopes up, okay man? And...not just about the surfing."

I smiled at him. "You gotta have faith, man."

He shook his head at me. "Suit yourself, dude."

* * *

I blinked, hearing two voices talking excitedly. I glanced at the clock. 4:47 AM. Damn. David and Brad had gone to their rooms ages ago.

I heard the pounding of footsteps on the stairs. "Jake, Brad, David, get up!" My dad. His voice was...joyful. Excited. I sat up as he banged my door open.

"Dad, what--"

Dad smiled at me. It looked like he had shed ten years. "It's Suze. The hospital just called. She's awake."

There was more after that. I had to jump up, get on some decent clothes, get into the car, etc...

In the car, while I was trying not to puke, Brad whispered, "So, surfing huh?"

"Yeah," I said, grinning. "Surfing."

A pause. "We'll have to get her a surfboard."

"I think Mom and Dad'll spring for it," I said, still grinning.

* * *

Suze was, in fact, awake. Her eyes were open instead of closed, still the same bright green I remembered. And the really weird thing is, throughout all the happiness and tears and hugging, I could actually feel all the stress that had been accumulated over the past few weeks just...fade away. Just like that. Like the sight of Suze's green eyes and her smile at us...had taken all that pain and worry and fear, and made it go away.

It'd worked. The plan...it worked.

And whatever the consequences were...I'd deal.

Because this...this moment was worth it.

_A/N: Only one more chapter left, and (drumroll please)... it's in Suze's POV. No, seriously. _


	10. Chapter Ten

_A/N: Why it took me so freakin' long to finish this, I'll never know. But it's here, at last. Consider this a post-Thanksgiving gift._

"Oh God...sweetheart..." Mom's tears were hot and soaked the cheap hospital gown.

Have you ever thought about what would happen if you died? Have you wondered who would miss you, who would come to your funeral, what they would say...Have you wondered how people would get along without you, if they'd be all right?

I've thought about it. A girl can't spend all her time with ghosts without thinking about what would happen if she kicked the bucket. Of course, I hadn't really died, but still...I'd come awfully close.

Mom stepped aside, and Andy came up to me. There were tears in his eyes as he hugged me gently. "Missed you, kiddo," he choked out.

Oh God. There were tears in my eyes as I hugged him back. Then David, who was crying too, and Brad, who wasn't, but looked overwhelmed. I hugged them both as hard as possible.

And then Jake.

Jake, who knew everything. Jake, who had saved me. Jake, who hadn't abandoned me.

My brother.

Not stepbrother, anymore. Just...brother.

And in that second before he came over and hugged me, I let go of New York and the life I'd had before. And when I embraced him, it wasn't just him I was embracing, but Mom and Andy and David and Brad too, all of them, the family that had been there for so long, waiting, but that I'd never really let in.

As we hugged, Jake whispered in my ear, "You had better tell me everything."

How long had I kept them away? Kept them at arms' length, not bothered to learn anything about them?

Too long.

So I said, "Okay. I'll tell you."

After all he'd done for me, it was the least I could do.

And, although I didn't figure it out then, it was the least I could do for putting all of them through hell.

* * *

They told me it had been two weeks.

To me, it had felt like an eternity. I'd had no sense of time when I was up there. There had been nothing but circling spirits and the cold. God, had it been cold. If I had been corporeal, I would have frostbite.

And those ghosts…okay, I knew I'd made a few enemies. You can't be a mediator without pissing a few ghosts off, I don't care _what_ Father Dominic says. Still, it wasn't like they hadn't deserved to get their ghostly asses kicked. Up there, though, I'd been at their mercy. Not that they'd had any. They'd shouted and screamed…said things…things I wouldn't ever repeat even to someone I hated.

But not even _that_ was the worst part.

The worst part…was seeing Father Dominic and Paul up there. Seeing them fight so hard to find me, help me…hearing them call out my name…and then not hearing their voices at all. Remembering my mom, Andy, my stepbrothers, Cee Cee and Adam…and Jesse.

Remembering the way David's braces would always glint when he smiled. Sleepy and the way I would always have to get him up in the morning so he could drive us to school. How much fun I always had teasing Brad. My mom and her hugs, which I always pretended to hate but really, deep down, loved to receive. The smell of Andy's cooking.

Cee Cee's stick-straight hair, shining in the sunlight. Adam and the way he always cracked jokes. Father Dominic's kind eyes. Jesse and the scar in his eyebrow, and the way he kissed me, and how he always made me feel so safe.

Remembering all the people I loved…and how I might never see them again, that was the worst part. No question.

* * *

"So, how many tests have they run on you so far?" David asked.

I groaned. "Ugh. I've lost count."

David shrugged. "If I were them, I'd be running a battery of tests too. What happened to you makes no sense...to them, at least. They're trying to come up with a reason--a logical reason--for why you're awake."

"They aren't going to find one, though," I pouted.

Brad grinned. "Don't worry 'bout it. Dad and Mom are working on bailing you out. They're totally convinced that the doctors here are idiots."

I smiled. "Really?"

"Oh, yeah," Brad confirmed. "They've already run every test possible before…and they had no clue what was going on. Idiots." He paused for a moment. "Hey…you wanna learn how to surf?"

I blinked. "What?"

Brad was staring at the floor like they contained the answers to his midterms. "Uh…back—back when you were in the coma…Jake suggested that—if you woke up—we should take you surfing."

Surfing. The seawater would ruin my hair. I would be exhausted. Hanging out with both Jake and Brad would most likely drive me insane.

"Okay," I said automatically, smiling at him. "Yeah, it—it sounds like fun."

Brad's eyes grew huge. "Seriously? You mean it?"

"Yeah, doofus, I mean it!"

Right then, the biggest smile appeared on his face. And as crazy as it sounds, for the first time ever, I…I kind of realized what all the girls at school saw in him. "All right, then," he said, still grinning. "Cool." He glanced over at David. "You're coming too, geek."

David's eyes widened. "Me?"

"Yeah, you," Brad said. " 'Bout time you learned to do something other than homework."

David looked downright thrilled. And for that matter, so was I.

* * *

My mom smoothed the pillows for the fifth time. She was nervous for some strange reason, I could tell. "I know the place is messy…we just—we couldn't think of entering and cleaning it up when you were in the hospital—"

"Mom, it's okay," I reassured her. "It's not like I didn't make the mess in the first place."

She laughed at that. "Yeah, that is true." She paused, clearly wanting to say something more, to linger here.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Her eyes grew ridiculously wide. "Nothing's wrong!"

"Mom. Come on." I sat down on the bed. "Just tell me."

She sighed. "I—you'll think it's silly."

"Just tell me."

Mom was silent for a long moment, then sat down next to me. "I'm afraid to let you go to sleep," she admitted in a whisper, her eyes filling with tears.

Afraid to—oh. Oh. "Mom—" My voice broke a little.

"When—when you were in the hospital, all I could think about was that I hadn't said goodnight to you. Remember? You'd gone upstairs, and—and I was worrying about the story we were about to break and—and I thought, she won't notice, it doesn't matter. But it _did_, because the next morning, no matter how hard we shook you or how loudly we called your name, you wouldn't wake up." The tears tumbled down her cheeks. "And all I could think was that my daughter might never wake up and I didn't get to tell you goodnight or that I loved you or—"

For the first time in ages, I was the one to pull her into a hug. "Mom, it's okay," I whispered into her hair. "I'm okay now. I promise, I'm going to wake up in the morning."

My mom pulled away and wiped at her tears. "You'd better," she said with a little laugh. "Because Andy's planning this huge breakfast…"

We talked for a little while longer, about important and not-so-important things, then with a little sigh, Mom kissed me on the forehead, her cool lips brushing against my skin. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night, Mom. I love you."

Her smile was a little watery. "I love you too."

* * *

In the middle of the night, Jesse came.

I sat up straight, just…staring at him. "Jesse," I breathed.

"Susannah…" His voice trailed off. "Are you all right? Should I go?"

"No, stay," I said.

He just looked at me for a long moment. Then with a sigh, he came over to the bed and hugged me, hard. "I missed you," he whispered into my hair.

"Missed you too."

* * *

Jesse ended up spending the night. And no, before you ask, nothing happened. Come on, it was _Jesse_. Jesse, the guy who flipped out with guilt over kissing me—you really think I'd get any farther than first base?

That was actually okay. I needed comfort, not—anything else. So, as lame as it might sound, we just…leaned back against the pillows, his arms around me, his head on my shoulder. I was lying between his legs and inspecting his hands.

"Do you have moisturizer in the afterlife?" I mused. "Because your hands aren't dry at all."

Jesse laughed slightly, the air he was expelling tickling my ear. "No, we do not."

I leaned back against him. "You know…I don't think it's really sunk in yet, how long I was gone."

"It was…" Jesse trailed off, and I could feel him shaking his head.

"Tell me," I said abruptly. "Tell me…tell me how it was like for them. For all of you. Please? I need—I need to understand."

There was a long pause. "It was a nightmare," Jesse said finally, his voice a little hoarse. "Your family…they were so—they didn't understand anything, and we couldn't tell them…your mother cried all the time, and she barely ate…"

I had noticed the fact that Mom had lost at least eight pounds…

"But your stepfather and your stepbrothers…they were hit the worst."

Oh God. And I knew exactly why. "Because this had happened before," I said, my voice a little shaky.

"Yes. Andy…he—he seemed lost. He just—you could tell that he couldn't fathom how this could be happening again. When David wasn't talking to us, he would lock himself in his room, Brad was in complete denial…Jake tried to keep everyone together, but you could tell that he was barely keeping himself together…it was a nightmare, Susannah," he finished.

I could feel this horrible lump building in my throat. I knew all of this, deep down, after all, I had seem my mom's weight loss, the dark circles under her eyes and Andy's. I had seen that Jake and Brad's tans had faded, that their skin was paler than I'd ever seen it before. I had how wan David's face was now. I had known.

But it still was a shock to hear it all spelled out. To hear that they cared that much, that I mattered that much.

"How did Jake end up saving me?"

I could feel Jesse smiling into my hair. "He caught David trying to sneak out, and insisted on accompanying him. He came to the Mission, and we eventually had to explain everything…"

"Oh God," I said blankly. "That must have been really interesting."

"Well, I had to do a few parlour tricks, but it wasn't so bad. He was a little stunned at first—"

I could imagine. Being told that yes, there were ghosts, yes, your newest addition to the family combats them occasionally, and yes, she is being held in some ghostly netherworld…I wouldn't have been surprised to hear that he'd had a complete meltdown.

"—but he adjusted well," Jesse continued. "He insisted on taking David's place, and you know the rest."

"He wasn't afraid?" I asked.

"No, well—it was like…like he was afraid, but that it didn't _matter_ that he was afraid. This was just something he had to do. I was impressed, I didn't realize how much loyalty he felt towards you."

"I didn't know either," I admitted. Although, in a way, I should have. Jake had gotten up in the middle of the night and dug through rubble to find me, he'd tried to keep me away from Michael Meducci on our parents' orders…for a guy who didn't seem to care about anything, he'd helped me out quite a lot.

Jesse plucked at the sleeve of my turtleneck. "Why are you wearing this? You usually wear tank tops when you go to sleep—"

I shrugged. "I'm having some trouble keeping warm these days," I admitted, trying to make light of it.

He tightened his arms. "Maybe I can help with that. Would you like me to stay tonight?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I'd like that."

And he did.

* * *

All in all, getting caught with Jesse in my bed by my brother wasn't the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to me, but it was definitely in the top ten.

"Whoa," Jake said. "Whoa."

"Uh, this isn't what it looks like," I stammered, mortified, then frowned. "Wait. How do you know what it looks like?"

Jake's eyes grew huge. "Holy shit," he said blankly. "Dude, I see dead people."

* * *

Yep, that's right. I had turned Jake into a mediator. He could see Jesse, touch him, hear him…Jake was just like me now.

To say I was feeling guilty would be the understatement of the year. Jake had done this incredibly noble, selfless thing, and how does he get rewarded for it? By getting stuck with the same so-called gift that had wreaked havoc on my life.

But did anyone share my outlook? Nooo. In fact, Dr. Slaski was downright _thrilled_ about it. You could tell he'd been dying to get back to his experiments, and Jake was looking like one hell of a guinea pig. Despite his denials, I could tell that Father Dominic was kind of curious too.

Jake, after the initial shock of it all, was taking things in stride.

"Dude, I just figure things can't get any weirder than this," he said cheerfully.

He probably shouldn't have said that. After all, things always get weirder around here. Always.

As I adjusted back into the everyday grind of things, I had little time to talk to Jake. When I wasn't at school, I was either surrounded by my friends or by my family. And as much as I loved spending time with then, I still needed to talk to Jake. Have a long, long talk with him about everything. About how grateful I was for his help, how sorry I was that I'd dragged him into something he hadn't asked for.

And how happy I was to realize that he was in my corner.

But I didn't get the chance. Jake was doing double-time at the pizza place, making up for the time he'd been gone when I was in the coma. When he wasn't at school or working, he was over at Paul's place, submitting to the poking and prodding. When he was home, all he wanted to do was sleep, and right now, I couldn't blame him one bit.

* * *

I blinked in shock as the loud music assaulted my ears. "Okay, whose idea was this again?"

"Kelly's," Adam said wearily. "She's been dying to host a big event, and you coming back from the dead was a good enough excuse." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders supportively. "I know this must be kind of intense for you…all these people—but they really are happy to have you back. And so are we."

I wrapped an arm around his waist. "I know," I said, grinning up at him.

Kelly's house was packed. To my surprise and delight, she hadn't just invited the popular crowd, from the looks of things, everyone in the school had been invited, regardless of how popular or fashionable they were.

It took me ages to get to the refreshment table, mostly because everyone felt the need to stop me and tell me how grateful they were that I was all right. When I got there, Paul Slater was standing nearby. "Hey, Suze," he said easily.

"Hey, Paul," I said back. Our relationship was better now since he'd finally backed off for good. "How's your grandfather?"

"Ehh, Pops is better than ever, now that he's got something to do."

He meant testing my brother.

Paul tilted his head, reading the expression on my face. "You know, it's not your fault."

"Of course it is," I said briskly. "Jake went in there after me, and how does he get rewarded? By getting stuck with this—this curse."

"Have you talked to him at all about this?"

"No," I said sulkily. "Can't get any alone time with him. He's so busy…"

"Thought so," Paul said, nodding. "Because if you had, then you'd know that Jake doesn't look at this like it's a curse. He doesn't blame you. No one does. So stop with the guilt already."

It was oddly comforting, in that weird Paul way. "Thanks, I guess," I said, then looked at him.

Paul grew uncomfortable under my scrutiny. "What?"

"Thanks for…everything you did. Trying to help me," I said. "You know, you can be a pretty decent guy when you let yourself."

It could have been my imagination, but Paul…Paul might have been blushing a little. "Thanks. I'll take that as a compliment." He shook his head. "If you had ever told me there would be a time when de Silva and I would be on the same side…" He mock-shuddered. "Never again."

I laughed at him. "Don't worry, I have no plans to fall into another coma."

"Glad to hear it." In a falsely casual voice, Paul asked, "Hey, did your friend Cee Cee come with you?"

"Yeah, I think she came with Adam—" Just then, the strangeness of Paul asking about Cee Cee hit me. "Wait—wait just a minute," I said, holding up my hands. "Why do you want to know if Cee Cee came to this party?"

Now I _knew_ he was blushing.

Holy crap. Paul and—and Cee Cee? "No way," I gasped.

He squirmed. "I met her in the hospital and—and she's pretty cool."

"No way!" I crowed, getting the attention of some people nearby. Ignoring their stares, I continued. "Unbelievable."

"Simon," Paul hissed, "shut up. Everyone's staring at us."

I grinned at him. "You like Cee Cee," I said in a sing-song voice, then grew serious. "If you hurt her—"

"I won't, I won't," he assured me, then frowned. "She doesn't have a ghost for a boyfriend, does she?"

"No," I reassured him.

He grinned. "Good. So, where is she? Think it'd be too abrupt if I asked her to dance?"

"No way," I told him. "Feel free. She's right over there."

I watched with amusement as Paul made his way over to where Cee Cee and Adam were talking. As he sweet-talked Cee Cee, I could see Adam's expression growing darker by the second. And when Paul pulled Cee Cee out onto the dance floor---ooh, boy.

"I can't freakin' believe it!" some girl behind me squealed in irritation. "Kelly's actually invited all these nerds to her party, and Cee Cee Webb is dancing with the hottest guy here. I swear things can't get any crazier than this."

Maybe they were right. There had to be a limit, right? Right?

* * *

"Hey, Suze?" Jake poked his head into my room.

I looked up from the horror that was my calculus homework. My teachers had been really lenient, what with me being in the hospital for two weeks, but I was still really behind. I smiled. "Hey, Jake."

"Let's go for a ride," he suggested.

* * *

"I've never been here before," I commented, looking around the beach.

Jake kicked at the sand. "Back when—when my mom was still alive, we used to come here a lot for picnics and stuff." He plopped down in the sand and gestured for me to join him. Thankfully, I was wearing a ratty hoodie and an old pair of jeans, not my usual fashionable wear, so it didn't matter if I got sand on it.

Sitting down next to him, I asked, "So…how are you doing?"

"You mean, what with the whole newbie mediator thing?" Jake elaborated for me. He shrugged. "I'm okay so far. And it's not your fault by the way."

"Who said I was blaming myself?" He gave me a look. "Well, okay, maybe I was, a little. Jake, you didn't ask for any of this—"

"Tell me everything."

Jake's calm request threw me off-kilter for a moment. "What?"

His blue eyes met mine. "Tell me everything that's happened since you came here. All of it. All the weird stuff that can't be explained, all the trouble you get to, how you ended up living with a ghost in your bedroom…everything."

My mouth fell open. I had known this was coming after all, but still…to hear it spelled out like that was still kind of a shock. "If I do, we'll be here a long time," I mumbled.

Jake grinned and patted the backpack he'd brought with him. "I brought some sodas and chips." He paused, and his expression grew serious. "Suze, if you think you owe me anything, this is it. This is all I'm asking for."

And I remembered hissing voices in my ears, and a cold wind chilling me down to my bones. I remembered the way Jake had stood up to them. How tightly he had held on to my hand.

I owed him everything.

And if this was the way to start to repay him…then I'd do it. I'd finally give the explanation that I'd never given to anyone else, not really, not my mom or Cee Cee or David or anyone. Everyone who knew had figured it out on their own, which had made it really easy on me, because then I didn't have to tell them.

But I was finally, finally going to tell someone everything.

And I did.

* * *

Jake, for all his faults—the guy may have saved my life, but he wasn't perfect—but Jake knew how to listen. He was silent when he needed to be, asked questions in all the right places.

By the time I finished talking, the sun was sinking into the horizon. My throat was scratchy, my throat hoarse, but I was so, so relieved to be done with it.

For a long time, neither one of us said anything. Finally, Jake said softly, "That is the most screwed-up story I've ever heard."

I laughed. "Yeah, no kidding. Try _living_ it."

"Damn, and I thought you just had a permanent case of PMS. No wonder you're so bitchy." I smacked him, hard. "Ow! Well, it's the truth!"

So maybe he was right. "Shut up," I said anyway.

"Mom has no idea, does she?"

"No, she doesn't," I said, my voice even.

"Neither does Dad…Brad's clueless…and David knows, but only because he worked things out on his own, right?"

"Yes."

He rubbed at his face. "You know we have to tell them, right?"

My eyes grew huge. "What? Jake, _no_—"

"Suze, they have a right to know the truth. About you, about me—if anything like this happens again—" Jake broke off and stared at me. "Do you know what the worst thing was when you were in the hospital? It was—it was the fact that we had no idea what was wrong with you? With my mom, we knew why she was sick. We knew it was the cancer. But _you_—Suze, it was just crazy. The doctors were running all these tests, calling in specialists—and we had no idea what to do. We didn't know how to help you—all we could do was sit around and wait. Do you know how frustrating that is?"

"I…"

"I think they can take it," he continued. "Hey, after the initial shock, Mom'll probably be relieved that you're not in a gang or whatever."

"They'll never believe it," I muttered, grasping at straws.

"We'll bring in Father Dominic and Dr. Slaski and Paul and Jesse. Jesse can convince them in a heartbeat," Jake countered. "Please, Suze. I can deal with the mediator thing—but I don't want to lie to my family for the rest of my life."

Did he have any idea what he was asking me to do? Spill the biggest secret of my life, run the risk of—wait. What would I be risking?

I had kept the truth from my mom because I thought it would be easier on her. But really, was it? If she found out, at least she would now know the cause of all the strange things I'd get myself into. She would stop thinking of herself as a bad parent or wonder what had gone wrong with me. She'd finally know.

I sighed. "Think they'll be able to deal with it?"

"Compared to those two weeks you were in a coma, this'll be a piece of cake," Jake said, grinning as he realized this was my roundabout way of saying okay.

After all, I did owe him.

* * *

I took a deep breath before entering the kitchen. "Mom?"

She looked up from the book she was reading at the table. "Yes, sweetheart?"

My tongue was dry and felt like lead, but I still managed to say, "Could—could you come into the living room? We need to talk."

* * *

_Epilogue:_

_It's a bright, sunny day. There is a family at the beach. We see the father fussing over a picnic basket, while the youngest child, a boy with braces and red hair, puts on some sunscreen to ward off the sunburn that is bound to come anyway. The mother is watching as two teenage boys teach a girl with dark curly hair how to surf. _

_As the girl rides her first wave, the mother turns to her husband and says dreamily, "We're all okay now, aren't we?"_

_He thinks of his first wife and her death, and that horrible time when he thought history was repeating itself. He thinks of his sons, and his daughter, and the long confession that had taken hours for her to finish. He thinks of objects floating in mid-air, and all the strange occurrences that had been happening for months finally, finally making sense. He thinks of the sense of relief that came with finally knowing the truth._

_He thinks of his daughter, complaining on the telephone and referring to him as "Dad", and he smiles. "Yes," he tells his wife. "We're all okay now." _

_And he isn't lying._


End file.
